It’s Bout Time We Call Up The People At The Laughing Academy
To Take Crazy Al And Jessie Away

By Ray Vaughn

I guess it must be torture to be a self-appointed leader of the black American nation and have the media, and your followers relegate you to the scrap heap.

Imagine, for years, thanks to your cunning, racist and sinister massa, you have hijacked your way upon the national scene as the spokesperson for the entire community of blacks in America suddenly to have a muzzle placed over your mouth thereby preventing your running mind games down on black people on hot button issues such as the confederate flags, racial profiling, police brutality, and drug sentencing laws.

Suddenly, these days shaking down whitey to benefit you and your friend is easier to say than carrying out.

The Reverends Als and Jesse Coon and Spook Traveling Shakedown Show is playing to empty houses these days and it must be a real mother for these specimens.

In these times, one has to be careful when engaging in racial extortion. Especially, since extortion might be thought an act of domestic terrorism by that fella known as the “Barney Fife,” of the Justice Department, John Ashcroft.

My guess is the shakedown crew have personal animus to the events of September 11, 2001.

Prior to that date these two men of the cloth, were hogging the television and newsprint media at every opportunity to point out the injustices of the white man to black folk.

They made their bones by painting that low life peckerwood as the culprit for all the ills of the black community from drug dealing, teen aged pregnancy rate, illiteracy, intra-crime, police brutality, to domestic violence, and poverty.

Blaming everything on the white man while simultaneously ignoring the complicity of black folk has a habit of coming back to bite you as the shakedown crew is learning.

One of the tragedies of this propaganda being spread throughout the black community is that many shallow minded, largely underclass, blacks swallowed it just like the folk in Guyana did with Jim Jones Kool-Aid.

This is proof positive that we still have our share of ignunt ass niggaz among us.

If this seems too harsh for some followers, I suggest you justify your blind obedience to a mythical black leadership.

What words would you use which best describes your their allegiance to this lineup of misfits?

Maybe, stupid, dumb ass, knucklehead, insanity, zombie, mindless , robotic, social outcasts or factory reject is proper.

Whatever it is I get the feeling that since the leaders have failed, for years, to involve black community in helping to cure its infirmities the followers are left to sort things out for themselves.

Yet, their leaders have succeeded in keeping the main responsibility from blacks so much that followers could arise in the morning and go to the bed at night blaming whitey for their plight with the precision of a Swiss watch.

Folk, common sense dictates that white people are not totally responsible for the conditions many blacks find themselves in.

Even the Master Shakedown Artist himself, Jesse Jackson, is not of that mindset.

He never told me but I know it.

I know this because he never put the bite on the white man for his affair with that sister.

If Jesse had wanted to blame whitey for his indiscretions he would have held a nationwide television news conference and made the following comments.

“Ladies and gentlemen I am here to announce that the racist white man has been up to his old tricks again. This time he has played a most dastardly and vile deed on me.”

“Because of him I have been banging a sister who ain’t my wife, repeatedly.”

“To top it off that no good racist mudderf***** made the sister, who be with a figure built for speed, to get pregnant and have a child that I fathered.”

“That’s what he did to me knowing full well that after supplying me with Vitamin “V” an erect penis ain’t got no guilty conscience.”

“It was a sinister plan designed to ruin the pristine reputation of me your powerful and godly black leader.”

“Till then, my followers deemed me cleaner than a hound’s tooth.”

You did not hear Jackson say anything of the sort. It is not because he would not have relished the idea of making the white man the fall guy for his problem, the facts prohibited him from doing so.

Conversely, black people bear much responsibility for the rot in our ranks.

Individually, we bear enormous responsibility for what happens to us on a personal level.

If your black leaders had spent more time addressing ills which blacks have within their capacity to cure we would be a much better group in America.

Intra-murders, drug, alcohol, and cigarette use, HIV-AIDS, assaults, out-of-wedlock pregnancies, sexual offenses, staying in school, respecting our elderly and our fellow brethren are problems we can solve.

I still maintain the government should introduce a program to pay black men to undergo a vasectomy to reduce out-of-wedlock pregnancies and its connected problems. They way I figure it for every young male who has a vasectomy it will prevent, conservatively speaking, at least twenty-five or thirty children from being born in hopeless environment.

No child should be born into pre-ordained disparity.

For some years there has been many voices in the black community which shouted the urgency for black people to solve its own problems. Not surprisingly, owed to the control of the masses by the black pimpship, these voices are l ignored.

Folk like, Stanley Crouch, C. Delores Tucker, Tony Brown and others, whose articles regularly appear on this website, have been beating the bushes on issues which blacks could gain control of in short order if only we had the wish and will to do so.

It was our business to treat the likes of Calvin Broadus, AKA Snoop Doggshit and his buddy Dr. Dre for what they are.

Life long psychopaths.

And not as the Miles Davis and Louis Armstrong of today’s generation.

Instead of beheading the gansta rap monster the minute it raised its head in the community, we allowed it to take root and poison the minds of thousands upon thousands of young men and women.

This is not a condemnation of the music generally, it is just the somewhere along the way to its rise in popularity and universal acceptance of the messages of the founding fathers of this movements the misfits replaced it with one of destruction and self-hatred.

Gradually, ex-convicts, felons, drug dealers and gang bangers are advocating misogyny, becoming a player, and viewing our females as just a piece of meat to “suck the ticks off his d***!”

Many blacks contend that the white man is behind this corrupting influence. They swear up and down that because of his quest for the money the white man makes these misfits record this garbage.

I have to wonder about the mental health of a black person who is of that opinion.

This mindset totally absolves black haters like Bob Johnson, of BET, the black rappers, producers, booty shakers, and distributors of any responsibility.

To give the white man that type of power over black people is really not worth my addressing.

As for myself, you can call me crazy but I am not foolish enough fall for that bullshit.

My entire life I have never met a person, black or white, who had the power to make go upside the head of a sister lady, disrespect my elders, do drugs, peddle poison in my neighborhood, or take on any other bad habits.

I don’t wish to be around a woman who will take any shit from me.

Damn man!

I keep trying to figure out why and how so many sisters managed to come up with these sad sacks who are quick to fly off the handle, in and out of public, verbally and physically abuse them, living off them, running the streets with his forty-ouncer buddies, and having three or four super freaks on the side.

It takes Judge Joe Brown deal straightup with these sorry ass spooks.

It is noteworthy that a racist and draft dodger, I think, like Billy Goat O’Reilly should now target the misfits of Rap for removal from more profitable and respectable ventures.

Amazingly, all it took was a mere threat by white folk to boycott Pepsi and some specimen named Ludacris is dumped as a spokesperson for the company.

This was quickly followed by the ranting and ravings of O’Reilly and some talk in the Wall Street Journal over the inclusion of Calvin Broadus in the upcoming Muppet Christmas film and within twenty-four hours Snoop Doggshit is cut from the movie.

I do not think for one minute O’Reilly was motivated out of concern for black children. He is far too much of an evil person for that kind of gesture.

For whatever reasons, O’Reilly and others are getting results from their campaign against thugsville.

The black pimpship, including the jokers at the NAACP, and Congressional Black Caucus has never seen fit to attack the societal rejects of Rap.

The society of degenerates is not the exclusive domain the males mind you.

We have more than our share of black females who pride themselves in proving to the world that they are as debased as their male counterparts.

A prime example of this specimen is Robin Quivers of the Howard Stern Show.

We have all heard the joke of the guy and gal who meet, for the first time, at a bar which is popular for singles. After exchanging pleasantries, general conversation and a drink or two, the fellow asked the lady if she would go to bed with him for $50,000.

To which the lady replied “Of course I Will!”

The fellow then reached into his pocket, pull some bills out, looked them over and then informed the lady that he could pay her only $25.00 and asked if she would go to bed with him for that amount.

Irate, the lady bolted from her seat and began making a big scene with the fellow by hurling all manner of expletive deletes at him.

Finally, she demanded to know what kind of woman he thought she was to think that she would sleep with him for $25.00.

In a calm manner to suggest that he had ice in his veins the fellow replied; Lady, we have already established the kind of woman that you are.

We only have to agree on a price.

You will forgive my embellishment in telling this joke.

I think the joke compares to Quivers.

There is no need to spend too much time this walking disaster except to say that nobody but nobody can convince me that she loves herself while taking part in some of the most repulsive shenanigans involving females allowed on the airwaves.

Thus far she has not exhibited any redeeming qualities.

But that is what you expect from a bon-a-fee-dee laughing hyena.

That is too bad because the sister is attractive and intelligent and does not need to lower herself to the twisted level of Stern. If any segment of the black population is going to be the fulcrum for turning things around it is going to be the black woman and not the knucklehead males runnin’ amok.

Me included.

There is no question that we blacks should have been working on our ills, especially, during the last thirty-years.

That did not happen mainly because the masses placed their everything under the thumbs of men that called themselves “Black Leaders.”

Men who had more tricks than a car load of monkeys.

And just as sure as it takes ten dimes to make a dollar, with the help of their puppeteers they proceeded to carry out their hatred of blacks by screwing, bluing, tattooing and deceiving the black masses.

They never had a plan for the masses to advance. Luckily, many blacks saw through this evil plot and looked out for themselves by taking advantage of the gifts this country offered no matter what obstacles were constantly being thrown in their paths.

These blacks were willing to sacrifice their all mostly for the next generation.

Because your leaders got you up at reveille and put you to bed at taps with stuff like the confederate flag after September 11, 2001, these were no longer headline racist issues.

While the same old ills still remain with black folk.

So what does Brother Love and the man with the fried pompadour do to get some much needed press?

They badmouth a movie called “Barbershop.”

From what I hear, they have some heartburn over dialog about Lady Parks, Dr. King and others. Having observed these clowns for some time it is my impression that this concern is totally bogus.

You don’t have to be rocket scientist to know that to slam the film company for the dialog while ignoring the actors who spoke those lines instantly makes their beef not creditable.

I have not seen the movie nor do I plan to. It has been over twenty –two years since I last went to a movie theatre, and I can count on one hand the movies I have seen on Video or television which was made during this period.

Nor do I need to see “Barbershop,” or any movie featuring the likes of Cedric. Buffoonery and minstrelsy do not amuse me. Louise Beavers, Willie Best and others endured that manner of acting to ensure modern day performers not repeat history.

Besides, if I wanted to see black folk act stupid I would go my local shopping mall and take seat in the promenade.

There ain’t no need for some of you colored folk to get upset about what I am saying here.

Like me, you too have been in public places and encountered some of us who are a source of embarrassment.

Since Jesse and Als have not seen fit to condemn the pathological habits of blacks they should keep their traps shut on the “Barbershop,” issue.

Perhaps, it is beyond their control.

Just maybe, they could be like the guy I heard about some time ago.

It seems this fellow walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and asked the officers to give him an X-ray to help find his brain, which he claimed someone had stolen.

The man shocked the police when he informed them that he had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a power drill and stuck the wire in to try and find his missing brain.

Maybe their followers need to put out an APB to find the upstairs departments of the reverends.

As my pal Skeeter would say “Rots O Ruck.”

Ray Vaughn can be reached at

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